Tag Archives: faith

Why I Decided To Cut My Hair

I’ve been asked serval times about what made me wanna cut my hair. Well the answer is pretty simple…it’s hot outside. I don’t think anyone understands Alabama weather, but it’s basically a living hell here in the summer. But it’s not all the temperature that gets to you, it’s the humidity. It can be 83F and it feels like 100F.
There are days where I miss my long hair. I look back at pictures and a little, tiny feeling of regret comes to mind. Then Florence +The Machine comes on the radio and reminds me to “shake it off, shake it off.”
So there you have it, the reason why I cut my hair.

You’re probably wondering…”that’s it??”

Okay I’ll give some real reasons why I truly did cut my hair. Hope you enjoy and hope it may encourage someone out there!

1) My dad: Okay this is a family reason why. Growing up, my dad had me playing soccer. I remember as a kid I was crazy about my bangs and long hair, especially after seeing The Little Mermaid everyday, nonstop. I seriously thought my dad wanted me to be a boy because one day he told me to cut it all off. He said I should do that because I’ll look better. So you’re saying I look ugly right now dad? Okay! Even years later, there I was at the age of 20 and he kept telling me to chop it off….let’s just say, that when I came home with barely no hair, my dad smiled and said, “I can’t believe you did it. I TOLD YOUUUU IT LOOKED GOOD!” Okay dad gotta give it to you, you were right. I don’t think you understand how much it means to a girl when their dad says they look beautiful.

2) Vanessa Hudgens: Now we all have an a movie star we admire. Vanessa Hudgens happens to mine. When she premiered in her new movie Gimme Shelter I noticed she had cut her hair. Now I didn’t do it because she did it. Rather I decided to do it because I saw that it didn’t look so bad on her and I thought, maybe it wouldn’t look so bad on me either (no I don’t look nothing like her either. Don’t get your hopes up guys). I remember around Christmas time I showed all my friends and they agreed it wouldn’t look bad. Well chop chop chopping away I went.

3) Being single: Don’t get me wrong, being in a relationship is wonderful. But no matter how close I was to the last guy I dated, I always felt insecure about my appearance. I remember talking to him about chopping my hair off and he said it would be okay, BUT that it wouldn’t fit with my face. Tevs. Breakups aren’t fun, and no I didn’t do it because we broke up. I mean it had been almost a year later when I cut my hair. The point I’m trying to get across is that I let someone else’s (someone I loved) opinion get in the way. I thought he was right. Then I thought, dad always knows best. So a year later, I let go of all of those insecurities I had when I was dating and just chopped my hair off. There’s this rewarding feeling you get when you do something out of the ordinary once you’re single. Like you’ve been set free to do whatever you want.

4) Soon enough the right one will come: So the last guy didn’t think it would look good, but I know the right one will love it. There’s something about guys that they prefer long hair. Maybe it’s because the girl looks more feminine and it’s just the way it should be. Or they don’t like it because they don’t have no hair to play with when it’s short. I don’t know. But I know that out of all the guys, there will be one who won’t care if you have long or short hair, and will still find you beautiful just the way you are.

5) Its easier: This is probably one of the top reasons why I cut it. When my hair was long, I didn’t know what to do with it. I would spend more time fixing it, than I would going out. Now that it’s short, I just blow dry this bad boy and walk out the door.

6) Nursing school: Ponytails give me headaches. Going into nursing school, I figured since my hair had to be up, why not just cut it for nursing lab.

7) Confidence: All my life, I struggled with low self esteem. I never felt pretty, I never believed in myself, and I never could let go of any insecurities. After hearing my dad for many times telling me to cut my hair, breaking up, and getting tired of fixing my hair, I thought why not listen to nike and just do it. I remember as if it was just yesterday, I was at old navy talking to a good friend of mine. I was tired of all the negativity in my life and I remember telling her that I was going to ulta next door to chop off all the negativity. When I said that she responded saying if I did I could no longer be sad and I have to let go of the past. Once my hair was gone I felt free. Not saying it gave me the power to overcome my fears, but the moment i did something I’ve been wanting to do for a long time, I felt free. I was able to look in the mirror with my chin up and say, I’m beautiful. I was able to not care what others thought. And not only that but I believed I was beautiful enough to where I no longer put on make up like I use to.

8) Change: I wanted to change. I wanted to feel brand new. I wanted to look at myself now and say “wow my life has changed.” I wanted to be able to say I look different. I just wanted change. And boy did a lot change. And I’m thankful.

You’ll be surprised at the amount of compliments I’ve gotten. Yes I was nervous when I got it, and I worried what some will think. But I guess that’s what happens when you turn twenty. You sort of stop caring. So to all the girls out there who wish to cut their hair, try it. The worse that can happen is that it won’t look good. But 10 times out of 10 it does. Don’t believe what that little voice in your head said. In fact don’t believe what others will say. You are your own person, and it’s important that you express that to others. If you wanna dye your hair, do it, if you wanna cut it, do it. If you wanna just leave it the same, then do that too. But whenever your mind tells you something it wants do it and don’t listen to your “what if’s.” Don’t let your decisions be an itch your trying not to scratch. That can get uncomfortable sometimes.

Audrey Hepburn once said

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides.

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Elephants and Moon

She could care less about people. All she wanted was a night with the stars. She dreamt of drinking tea with the elephants and enjoying a garden full of flowers. She didn’t want to get drunk off of beer. Rather, she preferred wine and poetry. She only cared for the loss and broken because she was once that way. She preferred a night out with the moon rather than some random guy because she knew that the moon would always listen. She loved the simple things in life because they healed her heart. They fixed her when she thought she could never be fixed. And though she is lonely she is not without love. And I think that’s why so many people are lost.

We live for others that we forget to live for ourselves.

Alone

You’re shy but your smile hides that. And you can’t help but share your love and laughter to every boring spirit. You know pain and it knows you so together you work to rid it from everyone else. You touch hearts to remind them they’re not alone. You carry secrets because not many people know how to hold on to it themselves. Sometimes you wish you could save that one person who rejects your offers, but only time will bring them to you. You’re patient with others. You listen to every heartbeat. You fix every broken heart. And when you fail, you love to google ways to help them the next time you see them.

But sometimes, just sometimes you wish there was that one person who cared as much as you do.

Second chances

What I see in them is what I saw in us. Hope. But tomorrow brought destruction.

This small cafe spared me a second chance. Feelings of animosity pull me away. The closer he gets, the further I run back into the darkness, concealing the pain that is yet to come.

I would give you my heart if I could only find the last person who stole it from me.

Can You Pass Me the Remote?

And in complete silence, he casually got dressed, as if she wasn’t there – ignoring the petty soul sitting across the room.

She never planned for an instantaneous afternoon. She knew very well she didn’t love him, and she knew he didn’t love her. But, oh, how badly she wanted to tell him she was overwhelmed, she was lonely, and she still had some feelings and cared for him. After months of letting go, she didn’t understand what was happening to her at that very moment. Deep down she wanted to know what he felt.

His eyes met her briefly across the room.

Casually she said, “Can you pass me the remote?”

Vampire Weekend

“A man of faith said hidden eyes could see what I was thinking.”

Feelings were real. No doubt I fell for you.
But a future together was as hopeless as the lost souls on Venice beach.
So I stopped dreaming.
You told me about your sleepless nights and how you over thought a lot of things when she broke your heart.
Little did I know you were foreshadowing what was yet to come in my life.
I can’t seem to see beyond these walls.
I only think of early evenings we spent together in the fall.
Some days I’ll sit, waiting patiently for you to walk through those doors, while I eat red velvet.
Other days I wait on a simple text about some concert because no one wants to go with you.
Hannah Hunt takes me back to the first night and I listen carefully for the hundredth time.
There was something in those lyrics you explained to me that I didn’t understand till now.

“Though we live on the US dollar, you and me we got our own sense of time”

That relationship was over.

If only it was fate, the timing would have been right.

Spring break

You’re there…
Every where I go.
The moons a reminder you’re nearby, yet so far away.
The breeze blankets my soul with cool air and I can’t help to think of the day I became bitter.
The stars are reminders of the memories we made.
The sea’s a reminder of my endless love for you.
It connects even the most corrupt continents. But distance became they’re biggest enemy.
I don’t know if you think about me the way I think about you.
Since there’s not a written novel about me, I guess not.

I fell in deep, deep love with you before.
But tonight. Tonight I fell out of it.