“A man of faith said hidden eyes could see what I was thinking.”
Feelings were real. No doubt I fell for you.
But a future together was as hopeless as the lost souls on Venice beach.
So I stopped dreaming.
You told me about your sleepless nights and how you over thought a lot of things when she broke your heart.
Little did I know you were foreshadowing what was yet to come in my life.
I can’t seem to see beyond these walls.
I only think of early evenings we spent together in the fall.
Some days I’ll sit, waiting patiently for you to walk through those doors, while I eat red velvet.
Other days I wait on a simple text about some concert because no one wants to go with you.
Hannah Hunt takes me back to the first night and I listen carefully for the hundredth time.
There was something in those lyrics you explained to me that I didn’t understand till now.
“Though we live on the US dollar, you and me we got our own sense of time”
That relationship was over.
If only it was fate, the timing would have been right.
Every where I go.
The moons a reminder you’re nearby, yet so far away.
The breeze blankets my soul with cool air and I can’t help to think of the day I became bitter.
The stars are reminders of the memories we made.
The sea’s a reminder of my endless love for you.
It connects even the most corrupt continents. But distance became they’re biggest enemy.
I don’t know if you think about me the way I think about you.
Since there’s not a written novel about me, I guess not.
I fell in deep, deep love with you before.
But tonight. Tonight I fell out of it.
Your thoughts can be your worse enemy when you’re trying to sleep.
They can be multiple unanswered phone calls you regret in the morning.
They can make you anxious for a new day so you can start all over again.
They can make you weak. Very, very weak.
Slowly they kill you through the middle of the night, taking away every precious second from your sleep.
A second that you’ll never get back.
They come crashing into your mind like waves crashing against the shore.
They control your every emotion no matter how hard you resist.
There’s no escape.
Theres no silence, except for the silence that surrounds you in your room.
My nights are now days. As the sun rises they fall asleep. As the sun begins to set, they wake.
People ask me why I am up so early
“The earlier I wake, the quieter my thoughts are. And everything just seems to be at peace.”
Your heart is open.
Your mind is settled.
So you fall in love with Japanese trees.
And you remember the time you fell in love with the beauty of Monarchs and autumn leaves.
The days brought promises of forever.
And slowly you watched each promise fall as each leaf fell from that autumn trees.
The days got colder.
All that was left to warm your soul was a small cup of tea.
You let the cold rain wash away the memories from your past.
Barren trees proved to you: nothing last.
You tucked and hid those feelings under a blanket of snow.
So that everyone you told about the Monarchs, will never know.
Let the Japanese trees give you hope.
Let Winter be a small reminder to never fall so easily, again