Ladder to Normalcy

Incase you were wondering, I’m still alive. Or well at least I think I am. I mean last time I checked I was able to grab door knobs and pick stuff up without my hands going through a certain object. That counts as being alive, right?

Last night I got a call from my cousin who lives in Cali. Of course she calls me when I’m about to go to sleep. Poor girl forgot the time difference. I was so impatient with her because she was crying and I could not understand a single word coming out of her mouth. I really wanted to say goodnight and bye, but since I was already awake, I decided to just wait till she got her composure back.
It took about five minutes for her to finally say hey. Five minutes for a simple hey. Five LOOOOOONG minutes. It felt like five hours you guys!

Now I’m over here wondering what is wrong with this girl. And yes I think the worse.
Is she pregnant? Did she finally decide to drop out of school? Did her mom kick her out? Omg what is it?

“Me and my boyfriend just broke up.”

Really?

“I’m sorry.” I tell her.
“What should I do?” She asked.

Stop caring…move on.

I don’t know why I gave her that advice when I myself couldn’t take it for a year and a half.
(Yes I wasted a year and a half trying to fix something that was broken. And when I say broken I don’t mean the relationship.)

16 hours later, I find myself sitting in the kitchen, eating lunch and thinking about how I’m gonna pass my exam on Friday and do well for my Nursing interview. I look at my phone and start deleting text messages from weeks before and notice the last time I talked to my ex. He texted me to ask about the lymphatic system…

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Yeah..random. But I notice another thing as I was finally deleting my past: it didn’t hurt. Remember how I told you I wasted a year and a half trying to fix something that was broken? That something was me. I wasted a year trying to fix me by persuading myself that being with him was the solution to all my broken bones and scars. Little did I know that being in that relationship was the cause of all the problems. Don’t get me wrong, I loved him. And I’m sure he loved me too. But the insecurity, the doubtful moments, and selfish mentality was slowly diminishing ever ounce of love I had in my heart.

From December till about a week ago, I was the most bitter girl you would ever meet. I hated the whole lovey dovey stuff I saw on Instagram and Twitter.
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I just wanted to yell FUCK YOU at every couple I saw. I was almost like Joseph-Gordon Levitt on 500 Days of Summer…
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I even told some of my friends to break up with their boyfriends. I was cold. And mean. Really mean.

Now as I’m writing you guys this blog I’m trying to call my cousin back because I realize there’s more than just stop caring…and moving on
But I forgot about the time difference myself and she’s currently in class.

Breaking up is not fun. It’s not easy. You go from talking to that significant other to total silence in less than a minute after they say “it’s over.”
You begin to miss those simple dates. You miss those sweet gifts. You miss being with them when you’re around your friends. You miss it all. It’s to the point where you start to feel like shit on a Friday night, while watching Modern Family.

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Ok yeah I feel lonely but the show cracks me up

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But if there is one thing I learn from this whole “breakup experience” it’s that it will all get better. I know…cliche…but it’s true. It’s hard to see it at first, but routine will get you climbing back on that ladder to normalcy.

So I decide to make a list on
how to get over a break up
Hopefully it helps anyone

1. Music
And not just music you hear on the radio, but your music. Bring back some old songs you listened to growing up! The other night I stayed up listening to some Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake, S-Club 7 (someone please tell me they remember this group), Nsync, and more. Lyrics always have a way of knowing your life problems. They understand where you’re coming from

2. Go out
Please do not be like me.
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For a long time I did not want to go out with anyone. It got to the point where I told people I was studying, or I was busy doing something when really I was in bed complaining about my life. You’re human. You were made to be social! BE SOCIAL. GO OUT! HAVE FUN!!!!

3.Pick up a hobby
So I have about a billion hobbies, because it’s so hard to stick to one. I play piano (well i only know one song Moonlight Sonata by Beethoven), I scrapbook (only when I have enough money for scrapbook stuff), I sew (well I try), and I read (more like take naps). Ok so hobbies is not my strong suit but if there’s something you’re good at, do it! It’ll occupy your mind!

4. Workout
The last thing you want to do is look like a “grenade”when you run into your ex. Join a crossfit or go to planet fitness. Do yoga! I promise you’ll love it!! Not only will your ex be jealous (honestly they probably won’t care) but you’ll be so focused on your body, that they will barely cross your mind.

5. Be spontaneous
I pray for whatever soul takes me seriously, but go out and conquer your fears. Go skydiving, swim with the sharks, buy a pet snake, do something you never imagined doing. Lol! Go on spontaneous trips. Don’t plan anything, just do it. You’ll be surprise how easily you’ll forget the past, and start living in the present.

6. Don’t be scared to date again
This is a toughy because you see yourself moving on and you wonder if the other person still wants you back. So you hold yourself back from going on a date with someone. (If this is not you then please go on more dates) I still have a little trouble with this one but just remember, it’s two people hanging out. Now if it gets a little “hot and steamy” at the end, you might wanna slow it down a notch. Just saying. Don’t wanna rush into something
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6a.Be careful who you date
Just to add a little something to number 6, please be careful who you go on a date with… If you find your ex’s friend attractive and want to date their friend, just be careful. Because it can it will get confusing. Trust me. I’m still trying to figure this one out myself. So heads up. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Be careful who you date

7. Be happy. Stop saying you’re forever alone
A lot of the times we tell ourselves we’re gonna be forever alone and live with 29 cats. well keep telling yourself that, and you just might appear on the TLC channel as the Cat Lady. (Or do they already have a documentary about one on tv?) But please just stop!
And be happy! Live your life! Live life like a two year old: freely, energetically, and enthusiastically

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8. Lose yourself to a tv series
My favorites:
Modern family
Dexter
Broad City
Workaholics
Parks and Rec
Just find a show to help you escape from reality

9. Trust God
Everything happens for a reason. What’s the reason they broke up with you? Because God has something better in store for you! We have a way of rushing things because we want it now! But that’s not how He works with you. The best things come to those who wait! Work around Gods timing and you’ll see how much He will bless you with!